THIRD ISSUE...
Defenseless, Dazzled & Dangling, OR...
How to Make Friends and Influence Demons
But first - loose ends...
Yesterday, you arrived in Hell as five living people who were supposed to be Processed. Now
you walk down the gangway as crew on leave.
Alive. Powered. Unprocessed. And free to go wherever the fuck you want - in Hell.
Before disembarking, Captain Daryll Knewbie gave each party member 100 Obols (the main Netherhold currency) as well as an official Perdition Princess Crew ID to get them through customs unhindered.
Arrival Plaza — An Unexpected Invitation
Upon disembarking the Perdition Princess, the Inheritors met Ulia Ono, an elegant and mysterious woman who presented MadLad with her calling card and invited him to visit her at the Oblivion Hotel.
Her interest was clearly personal, though her reasons remained a mystery. On to Commercial Square for now.
Dearly Departed — An Angel in Captivity
Dearly Departed is an eccentric, delightfully macabre antique shop specializing in haunted heirlooms, supernatural curiosities, and artifacts with questionable histories, operated by a man who calls himself "THE enigmatic Mortimer Morrow"—but he looks familiar. You could SWEAR you recognize that face and those manacles.
Mr. Morrow asks MadLad to investigate an unusual haunted antique music box. MadLad discovered that the object imprisoned Opharax, an alien angel from another dimension trapped as a deadspeak chant released when listened to. No one heard it until Liam came along.
The Inheritors recognized the nature of the celestial being and Mortimer said he'd see it home to its own dimension. Earning the party The Benediction of Opharax—the promise of a future favor from their new ally.
Mortimer also paid MadLad 50 obols for his assistance and offered the party a choice of three magical artifacts:
560 Obols - Mourner's Keyring: Stores three destinations to homes of the dead whose occupants have invited the bearer inside, bypassing all locks and security - both digital and analog.
790 Obols - Last Testimony: Records three willing-spirit testimonies of up to five minutes each. Each is duplicatable.
860 Obols - Knocker for Doors That Aren't There: Creates an entrance where no door exists, provided someone inside (alive OR dead) willingly admits the visitors.
The party chose the Knocker for Doors That Aren't There.
Their first shopping expedition had already yielded something considerably more valuable than an antique.
Provenance — The Anathema Armor
Provenance is a prestigious celestial arms-and-armor museum and gift shop operated by three fallen angels (Azazel - the Artificer, Gadreel - the Warrior, and Semyaza - the Diplomat), showcasing priceless divine relics and legendary weapons, with the magnificent Anathema Armor Phalanx as its centerpiece.
Fabulon’s bloodline inadvertently activated the priceless Anathema Armor by entering its 30-foot proximity and TRIGGERING the immediate verbal reaction “BLOOD OF SAMMAEL - ANATHEMA!” Then the armor, its eyes, shield AND sword erupted in celestial blue fire, aimed its weapon DIRECTLY at Fabulon, and unleashed a decimating blast attack that luckily triggered his Blink Teleport.
The proprietors came rushing in, screaming, “DON'T BREAK IT! IT'S PRICELESS!”
Before the encounter became a battle, Arbiter invoked his Angelic Authority and commanded the armor to stand down.
and it fucking OBEYED? Inviting more questions.
The armor peacefully deactivated, possibly establishing a mysterious continued connection with Arbiter?
The grateful proprietors offered three rewards:
740 Obols - Halo of Sanctuary: Creates a 10-foot vermin-and-evil-repelling sanctuary once daily.
620 Obols - Angel's True Measure: Detects dimensional inconsistencies and anomalies, including extradimensional teleportation.
600 Obols - Seal of Safe Passage: Once daily, grants diplomatic protection to a message or parcel and +2 to a relevant social delivery check.
The party chose Angel's True Measure.
The proprietors were also VERY interested in exactly how Arbiter acquired the legendary "Armor of Uriel,” which they immediately recognized by Celestial markings as the handiwork of the legendary Archangel. Apparently, Uriel has been MIA for a few millennia. He was last known to be interpreting prophetic visions for Ezra in the sixth century BCE and is prophesied to one day throw open the gates of The Netherhold and summon the dead before God for THE FINAL JUDGEMENT.
Ezra helped restore Jewish religious life after the Babylonian exile, only to discover that being on speaking terms with an archangel meant receiving spoilers for the apocalypse without the courtesy of a release date.
So, naturally, the three fallen angels have a few questions about why the personal handiwork of Heaven's future doorman to the Apocalypse is currently being worn by a random superhero wandering around Hell. They also offered Arbiter 50 Obols for NOT BREAKING the Armor.
Issue & Descent — Defenseless, Dazzled & Dangling
Issue & Descent is an elegant, two-story occult bookstore and magical emporium featuring five specialized divisions: Green Witchcraft, Blood Magic, Spirit Magic, Divination, and Voodoo, each overseen by its own formidable practitioner, with the legendary Marie Laveau presiding over the entire establishment. The party is just entering and about to introduce themselves to the proprietor when a clatter ensues behind them. Everyone distinctly heard a ruckus.
Acolyte Vholcyn was caught and chagrined. He TRIED to bolt but the store said NOPE. He then turned to battle...
Vholcyn apparently believed his stone body made him untouchable. Unfortunately for him the party used a spectacular combination of teamwork… MadLad left him defenseless, Arbiter dazzled him, and Hydroponic Dangled him.
He hadn't considered being suspended helplessly in midair, spinning like a particularly unfortunate Christmas ornament.
Completely defenseless and within Fabulon's Truth-telling spell The Light of Lamal, Vholcyn readily confessed that Bloodspell had ordered him to follow the Inheritors.
An infuriated Marie Laveau promptly removed a gold bracelet from his wrist. She explained that the bracelet granted access to Bloodspell's Acolyte realm—but only for one wearer.
The Inheritors need five bracelets. They now have one.
Marie suggested obtaining the remaining four at Vice-Versa, where Bloodspell's notoriously undisciplined Acolytes frequent the VIP lounge and champagne rooms.
Delighted that the Inheritors had dealt with the unwelcome intruder, the witches offered three magical rewards:
485 Obols - Infernal Lexicon: Translates written infernal languages.
470 Obols - Mirror of the Uninvited: Glamor - its bearer appears perfectly dressed for any occasion.
325 Obols - Bookmark of Lost Endings: Preserves a book's contents even after its destruction.
The party chose the Bookmark of Lost Endings.
Meanwhile, Star Witch Lyra Starfall and Blood Witch Dr. Valeria Sanguine both expressed interest in Fabulon's assistance with magical research. Valeria requested a private conversation and hinted at particularly generous compensation.
Valeria The Blood Witch pushed spinning Vholcyn into her section. She seemed very interested in trying to get blood from a stone.
Gatekeeper — Finding New Spirits
At Issue & Descent, Spirit Witch Agnes Blackthorn recognized that Gatekeeper had been cut off from the Shinto spirits he normally invoked. Although she could not restore those connections directly, she explained that Netherhold possessed its own spiritual hierarchy, with different entities occupying comparable roles.
These local spirits could potentially communicate with their Shinto counterparts, ferrying messages and information between them. Agnes offered to arrange introductions, allowing Gatekeeper to establish new relationships and potentially regain access to his familiar forms of spirit invocation. Their cooperation, however, would still need to be negotiated.
She also proposed freelance work identifying mysterious magical artifacts and mysterious spirits using his knowledge of other dimensions.
The Last Garden — Trouble in Paradise
The Inheritors next entered The Last Garden, an enormous Victorian glasshouse magically larger inside than outside.
Beneath an enchanted blue sky and golden sunlight, tiny animated plant assistants tended collections of rare, extinct, magical, and otherworldly flora.
Its proprietor, Choirine, was immediately familiar to Fabulon. Once Coralysienne's High Priestess and one of her most loyal companions, Choirine had known Fabulon since childhood. To him, she was simply Auntie Choirine. Their affectionate reunion included enthusiastic cheek-pinching and observations about how much he'd grown.
Unfortunately, Auntie Choirine was having a complete meltdown. Something was eating her seeds. But she didn’t say what it was.
Fabulon cast Ahgrazul’s Compass and swiftly saw what they were dealing with and shared... THEY ARE EATING THE SEEDS!
The Great Guttermaw Massacre
Beneath the conservatory, approximately 192 cat-sized infernal Guttermaws, organized into three swarms, were attempting to devour the garden's priceless seed archives.
The Inheritors descended into the basement.
Gatekeeper, took their bear form, unleashed a shockwave that disoriented an entire swarm.
Arbiter's celestial light weakened and intimidated the infernal vermin.
MadLad channeled Funky5 drummer Bon Jonham, becoming a super-speed percussion nightmare, pounding an entire swarm into unconsciousness with his fists.
Hydroponic attempted a carefully positioned spore attack, but even a lucky second attempt failed to affect the creatures.
Fabulon summoned four supernatural hounds, preparing to unleash them upon the remaining Guttermaws.
The rats managed a vicious counterattack, leaving Gatekeeper dazed.
Recovering, Gatekeeper delivered a devastating knockback attack that sent scores of Guttermaws splattering against the walls.
Finally, having thoroughly exhausted his patience, Arbiter declared that he was DONE playing with these things and spent a Hero Point to unleash a devastating holy-light-fueled area attack. Their formations broken and numbers decimated, the surviving Guttermaws retreated into the walls. The priceless seeds were saved. For now. The basement, however, needed a thorough cleaning, considerable remodeling, and some serious vermin-warding.
Botanical Rewards and New Friends
A grateful Choirine offered three magical botanical treasures:
425 Obols - Eden's Defiance: Makes 12 square yards of barren Netherhold soil fertile.
580 Obols - Genesis Seed Collection: Six magical seeds—Lantern Lily, Whispervine, Widow's Thorn, Purity Reed, Hearthroot, and Wayfinder Ivy.
695 Obols - Hourglass of Verdant Time: Accelerates up to 30 days of plant growth into one hour, once daily.
The party chose the Genesis Seed Collection, discussing the possibility of purchasing Eden's Defiance separately.
Choirine also provided Gatekeeper with a special herbal tea intended to temporarily heighten awareness, provided it remained fresh and hot.
And Hydroponic received a particularly unusual gift: an affectionate botanical familiar, initially without combat abilities or mechanical benefits, but with considerable potential for future growth. A loyal new companion and scout. One that still needed a name.
Before they departed, Choirine showed the Inheritors a hidden portal to the Winter Palace.
For Fabulon, this was simply a way home, HOME, but since he already possessed his own means of entry, the party continued exploring, recognizing the portal as a convenient return route to Commercial Square.
The Inheritors Find Employment
The Inheritors also discovered that their powers could earn considerable obols in Netherhold.
MadLad — Dearly Departed: Communicating with haunted antiques to reveal their histories. 25–75 obols per assignment.
Arbiter — Provenance: Celestial authentication and specialized work. 25–75 obols per assignment.
Arbiter — The Last Garden: Holy light for celestial plants. 25 obols per half-hour (repeat blasts)
Hydroponic — The Last Garden: Producing valuable pure water in a realm where ordinary water is corrupted. 25 obols per half-hour (repeat blasts)
Gatekeeper — Issue & Descent: Spiritual research and artifact identification for Agnes Blackthorn. 25–75 obols per assignment.
Fabulon — Issue & Descent: Magical research for Lyra Starfall, 25–75 obols per assignment, plus an undisclosed, potentially lucrative private proposition from Dr. Valeria Sanguine.
The Inheritors were discovering that surviving Netherhold might involve more than defeating monsters and unraveling conspiracies. They might actually have to get jobs.
The Oblivion Hotel — Ulia Ono's Plea
The Inheritors entered the opulent lobby of the Oblivion Hotel, where their presence was decidedly unwelcome until MadLad produced his calling card from Ulia Ono. The invitation spared them an unceremonious ejection and granted them access to the hotel's exclusive penthouse, where the ghostly Ulia awaited their arrival.
CURRENT Revelations...
PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE and GOSSIP: Ulia was Yoko Ono's twin sister, who had intentionally beaten sorceress Yoko to the punch by enchanting John Lesson at Yoko's exhibition at London's Indica Gallery on November 9, 1966 before Yoko COULD. John became ULIA's husband—one of the deceased musicians whose spirit MadLad now channeled as part of the Funky5. Yoko was notoriously disgruntled about it. The twins became estranged after the marriage.
Not long after John Lesson's disappearance, Ulia died of a broken heart and has been languishing in the afterlife ever since, desperately awaiting his arrival. She pleaded with MadLad to reunite her with her husband. Although he heard her plea, MadLad did not summon John's spirit during their initial meeting. Their reunion remains unresolved.
Ulia invited MadLad to return for dinner once he'd acclimated to Netherhold, promising introductions to the spirits of the other Funky5 members' loved ones.
What began as an unexpected invitation has become a deeply personal choice.
Fabulon's fabulous suite and The Greatroom
With their shopping, initial exploration, and Ulia's mystery at least partially resolved, the Inheritors decided it was finally time to visit the Winter Palace, home of Fabulon's mother, Coralysienne.
They arrived in Fabulon's appropriately fabulous bedroom suites before making their way to the Greatroom.
The Winter Palace — A Doorway Home
AND MEET Cerephine. Fabulon's grandmother. Behind her are Coralysienne and her gay best friend, the oddly familiar Jemercur, God of Passage, Roads, Messages, Swiftness, Travelers, and Thieves - seemingly having an argument.
Fabulon comes from Netherhold royalty, which means wealth, power, and enough family dysfunction to keep Hell's gossip mills running for centuries. His mother, Coralysienne, scandalized everyone by marrying the Fallen Sammael, earning herself disinheritance from her formidable mother, Cerephine, who nevertheless absolutely adores her grandson. Add Sammael's notorious romantic history and Coralysienne's fabulously indiscreet best friend Jemercur, and it's a miracle this family has any secrets left.
